i have always been a successful student academically until i joined my intermediate(+1 and +2) in a typical south indian hostel.its when i came across what i call harmonal hijack when every part of my body is pulsating with need for the opposite gender.i was not able to think clearly.forget thinking clearly i was not even in a position to concentrate my mind on any subject or topic,i did not know what to do then although i now know what i needed then was meditation and yoga.with this same state of restlessness and turbulent mind i joined one of the premier institutes in the country to pursue my undergraduation(dont ask me how i got seat in that university).
I gravitated towards wrong people in the graduation,made wrong acquaintances and to my surprise i flunked in all my subjects except english in firsty two semesters.same strech of failures continued till the end of my second year(i.e fourth semester).depression is the small word to express my distress in those days.i was addicted to smoking and did all the wrong things one expects a student of that age to do in the name of exploring.failure was the only thing that is visible in my life.
/Something positive started happening:
on the way back to my university from my home after second year i came across a book called “how some positive thinkers get powerful results” by Norman vincent peale.giving a short glimpse of how turbulent my mind was back then is that i was not able to study a single page of that book .that restless my mind was.I dont want my greatest enemy to even have that state of mind.it was so depressing and a big torture for a adoloscent.gradually i made a habit of reading one page a day (today i read around 300 pages per day).positive thinking is a magic.it definetly changes the way we look at things and gratitude is one of the most important things which peale focuses on.After reading that book and applying those principles my results started becoming positive. Gradually in my third year i passed in all my subjects except two(which is a great turn around) i was able to quit smoking for the first time in my life for fourty days which is a tremendous break through.
second author who gave a direction to my spiritual life was osho. this was in my fourth year,by now i was able to clear few arrears that i have out of many.i started reading ” krishna the man and his philosophy”.this book helped me dwell deep into my mind and understand polarities society inflicted on me and prejudices i hold.later in my life i became an ardent follwer of osho,read many of his books on yoga ,sex, taoism etc.
although i was not graduated in right time i was able get my visa to pursue masters in U.S.A,where i have a taste of what freedom looks like far away from home .i used to do recreational drugs which is legal in U.S.A and my brain chemistry got messed up becausse of that.(once again life hit me hard ).I was very active in search of a LIVE guru to guide in my life.that is when a brother in law of mine enrolled me to a course called “inner engineering ” which for the first time in my life showed me a practice which can literaaly give you a high without any substance,since then i started reading books of sadhguru and doing a practice called shambhavi mahamudra kriyaa which sadhgurus foundation volunteers teach.the most profound effect on my life so far has been of Sadhgurus,he has been a guiding light so far in evary aspect of my life.i consider his book” inner engineering a yogis guide to joy ” like my lifes guide,when ever i encounter a problem i retort to this book and it ll never fail to give me a solution.
recently i finished reading a book called “Be sincere not serious“,it is one of the best books for a person who is always in the head and less observant of life,it focuses mainly on being a watcher and take life easy and explains laughter is best mediattion,its a simple read.there are my videos of swami nithyananda online ,they are quite intresting ,looks like i found a new teacher (guru).